No.714 あなたは何番押す?Mental Hospital Answering Machine


Mental Hospital Answering Machine

" Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: "

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly .
* obsessive-compulsive: 強迫神経症患者

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you .

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6 .

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call ...
* paranoid: パラノイア、偏執症患者(精神病の一種で、体系だった妄想を抱くものを指す。自らを特殊な人間であると信じるとか、隣人に攻撃を受けている、などといった異常な妄想に囚われるが、強い妄想を抱いている、という点以外では人格的に常人と大して変わらない点が特徴)

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship .
* delusional: 妄想の

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press ..
* schizophrenic: 統合失調症患者(妄想や幻覚などの多様な症状を示す精神疾患)

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway ..
* manic-depressive: 躁うつ病者(躁状態とうつ状態を繰り返す精神疾患)

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696 ..
* dyslexic: ディスレクシア、失読症患者(知的能力及び一般的な学習能力の脳内プロセスに特に異常がないにもかかわらず、書かれた文字を読むことができない、読めてもその意味が分からない症状)

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep . Please wait for the beep .
* bipolar: バイポーラ、双極性の

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 ..

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you .
* have low self-esteem: 自分を低く評価している、自分に自信がない

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry . You won't be crazy forever .
* menopausal: 更年期の

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up ..

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week ..
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care . Well, my job is done ............ Your turn ...............
by shina_pooh_at_sfo | 2009-07-19 07:31 | へんなもの

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